I grew up as the skinny average kid who was nothing special. I never received any accolades growing up as a child, and I wasn’t the rebellious child either. I was just in the background. Mom was a house wife and my dad worked two jobs and went to school, which kept him away most of my formative years.
Being the smallest kid in school led to much ridicule and harassment. I was picked on constantly and I could never quite seem to fit in, no matter how hard I tried. In the ninth grade this all changed. If I couldn’t fit in I would give them reasons why I couldn’t. I changed my dress to nothing but black cloths and make up. I began doing drugs and drinking, which led me to being drunk, high, or both for a straight two years of my life. All the humiliation growing up caused me to have much hatred for my school mates, enough to the point where my friend and I would have murderous thoughts about them all.
This all ended in July of 1997. My dad and I started establishing a relationship that went beyond two syllables replies to actual conversations. During this time my father was also experiencing heart trouble, which caused in me much fear when I was arrested for drug possession at four in the morning. I was sure that when the police called my dad and told them I was in jail, he would go into cardiac arrest and I would lose my dad forever. It was through these fears that I cried out to God that my dad wouldn’t die and that he wouldn’t yell at me. When they called me out of the jail cell my father and mother was waiting for me and they both didn’t yell at me or chastise me. God heard my prayer. After this I quit doing drugs and actually tried to live the best life I could, under my understanding of what God required.
It wasn’t until I was attending a youth group and I went to the alter responding to the pastor who continued to say week after week, that we cannot make it into heaven by just being a good person, but only by putting our faith in Jesus Christ. As soon as I put my faith in Christ on that alter, I felt a huge weight lift off my back, and when I was walking away it felt as if I was walking three feet off the ground. I knew at that moment something changed.
Since then God has gradually healed me of all the rejections issues of my past by letting me know that He was there in the midst of all of it crying with me. He also has shown me that He also choose me to be His son before I was even born and that in His eyes I was special. That He has had all my days planned out with good things that I would walk in them and one day be united with Him in heaven forever.